Tips to Tune Up Your Marriage

Couples are in love when they marry, but bringing together two people with different personalities and raised in different families can put stress and strain on a relationship.

When you begin to see some serious cracks in your relationship it is a great idea to seek some support.

It does not mean your marriage is not working, but in fact can serve to strengthen your bond as a couple. Sometimes it takes a third party, who is a professional, to help us a strong marriage.

Research shows that couples know their relationship is struggling for an average of six years before they seek help; and often by then it is too late. If a situation seems to overwhelm or concern you, please get help right away.

Signs of Concern

• Physical, verbal, mental or sexual abuse
• Excessive alcohol or drug use
• Fighting dirty
• Aloof and withdrawn behavior
• Oppositional and controlling behavior
• Withholding affection and sexual intimacy
• Lies, Defensiveness, Unreliability
• False accusations
• Unexplained absences, working unusually long hours
• Imbalance of negative vs. positive interactions
• Unwillingness to cooperate in decision-making
• Retaliation

Actions that Don’t Help

• Gossiping with family and friends about your situation
• Thinking that time will cure the problem
• Separation, unless it is for your safety
• Blaming it all on your partner

Actions that Do Help

• Support from others who have been where you are and worked through it and stayed together such as Retrouvaille  
• Small changes in attitude and acts of kindness towards your spouse
• Marriage education classes
• Referrals from the Family Ministry Office can be made. Call Teresa Hartnett at 905-528-7988 ext. 2250

This may be a hard time, but things can and will get better when you take the time to work together to solve the issues coming between you. Studies show that couples who learn to work through their differences and difficult times experience greater marital satisfaction.